I have seriously been under the radar these many months. If you follow me on my social media profiles, I come and go in terms of posting. For one thing, yes I am still alive, I am still buying vintage bits here and there, and I am still very much committed to this blog. I made a HUGE list of post ideas, I would LOVE to get on them and get them done, but I’ve hit writer’s block.
I really appreciate all that subscribed to the blog and the new readers that stumble upon my writing. This post is the modern update, sort of personal, so if you are interested, I recommend a nice full cup of coffee or a tea and a comfy place to relax first…. Once you’ve settled in, please read on.
For one, I’ve worked consistently since I was 14 years old. Considering I now have two diplomas (not that anyone cares in the job world), I have been unable to find a job in this smallish town that I reside in and in the immediate surrounding area. One huge mistake was obviously not thinking through the move here. Should have/could have moved to a slightly more opportunistic area. I’ve applied to a handful of jobs, and no luck. I lack work experience required.
The meme above summarizes the fact that most jobs want you to get this extremely specific work experience, which is difficult to get because everywhere you go this experience is required… What?! I applied for jobs that don’t require any specific education, just a degree, I have many years of working at a university, but yes I don’t have experience at the particular job I applied for but have all the relevant experience that would apply in the setting. Anyhow, so far no luck.
Weight Gain and Lack of Confidence
In 2011, I weighed 136 at my lowest weight. I am 5’5. My ideal weight would definitely be 130, but I have not been able to get there since I was a freshmen in college, which by sophomore year I got up to 140. Then, at 140 through my college career, I fluctuated a bit but 140 was my heaviest. Now, I am at my heaviest at 151 lbs… I am 5 lbs away for being overweight and of course aside from the numbers, I feel many things. I feel unhealthy, I continue to put clothes aside that do not fit me anymore, clothes that do fit, no longer look as nice, etc. All of these things of course hinder confidence, big time, and with the above job issue, sitting home all day has not helped. AND on top of that, I LOVE vintage fashion, I am starting to have to put aside vintage clothes too and have had no motivation to buy anything, because it is difficult to find clothes with my measurements.
What am I realistically doing to rectify this problem. With all this time on my hands, I should be working on myself, but because I have lack of confidence and lack of motivation, I sit here doing nothing. I cook and clean on a regular basis, and have done some gardening a few times this summer, but this has obviously not been enough, because those 11 lbs I gained, happened being here (in the UK).
My diet is okay. I do, however LOVE sweets and sugar. And in the beginning, hubby would buy sweets and soda for me all the time. After a while, I couldn’t have anymore, because 1. teeth have not been my strong point 2. I got sick of the sweets and 3. I felt horrible. Otherwise, I put sugar in my tea and coffee and I like to bake yummy deserts. Unhealthy yes, but hey ho.
What to do?
Changing Bad Habits
I have a work out DVD called Brazilian Butt Lift (its funny but it works), after 2 weeks you definitely see results, and that’s when I stopped doing it, when I tried last year. Also I have two jump ropes, which I can use. There are gyms in the area that offer classes. Bad habits die hard, I am in general someone who once I put my mind to it, there’s no stopping me… BUT I start strong and hard and then stop eventually with whatever it is. I took dance classes –> stopped, I did cheerleading in High School –> stopped (though for reasons not relating to the activity but the catty and clicky group of teenage girls), belly dancing classes, stopped, gym –> stopped, jogging –> stopped , at home working out on many occasions –> stopped, biking with hubby –> stopped. And looking back now, I have quit at everything I did to help better my physical form and body health.
Not even without knowing my weight, I felt the extra weight on me and the consequences that follow with this. I am by no means trying to “fat shame” or anything like that, no matter your size, you should feel healthy, comfortable, happy, and overall satisfied with yourself. I however do not, therefore I am sitting here, writing this to vow to myself that I need to change. I want to change my unhealthy habit of eating sugar on a regular basis, I want to change my exercise ethic and change my view of myself. I want to feel happy about how I look, and I want to be healthy. I do not want to yo-yo diet.
So that’s that. I know that the internet has been a great platform for body confidence, and educating and motivating people to stop comparing ourselves to everyone else. I think it is wonderful, and I’ve used Pinterest to save workouts/tips/recipes, which I will hopefully use. I really love reading other peoples stories and successes. And now it’s my turn to succeed.
Until next time,